Al Qaeda and the remnants of ISIS, once mortal enemies, were both on their last legs. But now they have now joined forces. Known now as ‘Jihad United’, aerial surveillance has discovered that they have a chemical weapon they have been secretly using to continue their holy war against the West and other infidel countries.
The weapon has been releasing mountains of gas into the atmosphere creating a “greenhouse” effect. This has already resulted in global temperature rises and more frequent and extreme weather events- Drought, bushfires, more vicious cyclones.
Scientists say that there are tipping points beyond which the damage the Jihadi’s have caused to the environment will speed up and become irreversible. Tipping points are reached when particular impacts of global heating become unstoppable, such as the runaway loss of ice sheets or forests. Scientists say some tipping points might already have been reached.
However the leaders of ‘Jihad United’ have stated that nothing is beyond the power of Allah. “If the whole world converts to Islam Allah will be merciful and will reverse the damage caused by the gas.” said Jihad United leader Abu Bakr al Bullshitartist.
The world’s leading climate scientists have warned there is only a dozen years to stop the release of the gas and to keep temperature rises to a maximum of 1.5C. Beyond 1.5C even half a degree will significantly worsen the risks of drought, floods, extreme heat and poverty for hundreds of millions of people.
Immediately following the discovery of the Jihadi secret chemical weapon, the Security Council met. It declared a state of climate emergency. All governments, except for Saudi Arabia, have committed to finding the financial resources to root out ‘Jihad United’, destroy its gas releasing machine and ensure their own sources of energy do not add to the problem.
Even US President Donald Trump said “America will not allow the terrorists of Jihad United to rape us with their gas machine. They are very, very bad people.”
The amount of money to be spent on rooting out Jihad United, destroying it gas emitting machine, repairing the damage to the atmosphere and ensuring zero emissions energy will not be cheap. The world needs to spend $US50 trillion on five areas of technology by 2050 to slash emissions and meet the Paris Agreement’s goal of halting global heating. But do not despair, around $17 trillion was spent over a far shorter period bailing out the assets of the 1% after the global financial crisis of 2008.